Self-compassion

Trying to suppress my inner critic did not help me get writing done. What worked was listening to what my inner critic was trying to tell me and figuring how how to incorporate that insight into my writing practice. I learned to use curiosity and self-compassion to unlock my words.

Since you can’t escape yourself, it would serve you better to learn how to be a better friend to yourself, to become someone you don’t need to escape from.

Instead of trying to maintain a beautiful veneer and optimize our performance under the current circumstances, I would like to recommend to open-minded readers something entirely different: cultivate a stance of self-compassion. We don´t need to pretend we have everything under control. We don´t have to be perfect.

I made a more gentle resolution for 2016, because I am a parent in a world where “mom guilt” is the trend. I want to do the best I can for the kids I love, but sometimes more is unproductive and better is unrealistic. By pairing my natural urges to be perfect with the remorse I carried following my son’s burn injury, I was on a one-way trip to martyrdom. For this reason, 2016 was the year of self-compassion. My year-end reflection reveals a happier, more resilient version of myself so I think this resolution is one I will keep.

Yes there are crowds, more on the to-do list, and the flu season is upon us. But there are also more connections, sparkle, and cheer. Since I am (somewhat gracefully) surviving this holiday season with the support of the concepts I understand from positive psychology, I am compelled to spread my cheer by sharing my holiday survival list.