Kirsten Cronlund

My dear friend, even though I do not write for Cosmo magazine, my advice truly could reignite passion and connection in your relationship. In my five years of post-divorce dating,…

For years, I have seen men roll their eyes and exclaim, “Women! I’ll never understand them!” I have always been at a loss for how to respond to this outburst,…

For individuals going through divorce, a main concern is how to effectively deal with stress. Their transitional states of life often leave them feeling powerless, scared, and depressed. … Mindfulness is an important part of the work I do with clients. Specifically, I help train them to adopt a mindful approach to life circumstances that are largely outside of their control. Within this framework, I introduce changing one’s thoughts in order to change the resulting feeling or behavior. …

Meditation practice may still be viewed by some as a relic of 1960’s counter-culture or a sequestered religious practice to attain “enlightenment.” But scientists now seriously study mindfulness practices, and report a wide range of interesting findings. How does meditation work, and how best can coaches bring this research to our clients?

It is possible to achieve a great deal of contentment and peace with your spouse if you practice mindfulness in your relationship. What does this look like? In my last article, I stated that mindfulness is “attending nonjudgmentally to all stimuli in the internal and external environments,” and it turns out that this is arguably the greatest pathway to satisfaction in relationships.

It seems like every time I turn around nowadays I hear another reference to mindfulness. The idea is catching on in psychotherapy, … and in increasing physical health. I’m not sure we all mean the same thing when we talk about mindfulness, though, and my intention with this article is to propose a straightforward definition so that we are all speaking the same language.

I am sitting in Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. I missed my flight from Chicago to Philadelphia, then bumped off the standby list. Since resilience is the common theme in all of my work, I have decided to treat this situation as a case study for dealing with adversity – to see just what tools and skills work and which ones don’t.

Every fiber in my being felt raw and agitated, and I could barely concentrate. That’s when I pulled out the big guns. … I don’t remember how I discovered this most powerful tool, but once I experienced its potency I used it as frequently as I could. My secret weapon was walking (fast) on my treadmill while listening to recordings of inspirational speakers.

At first glance there seems to be little in divorce that is sparkling and fragrant. Hopes and dreams are crashing and burning, the financial future is uncertain, and angry words are often flung in an effort to protect tender hearts. But if you can only lift your eyes above the immediacy of the moment, you might be able to recognize that the brushfire that is currently destroying many aspects of your life is clearing the path for new growth.

AFGO – Another Freaking Growth Opportunity (polite version) – is a term used by my friends who are 12-step group members (like Alcoholics Anonymous). It is said with a wry smile, usually after hearing about a challenge someone is going through, such as divorce. The unstated message is, “Yep. We’ve all been there. It sucks, but you’ll be better off when you do the work required to get through it.”

I am irrevocably changed by my divorce. For the better.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not an advocate of divorce as a way to bring about “happiness,” as it is typically defined in our culture. In fact, going through my divorce was like walking through fire and having the outer layer of my skin burned off. It was no quick fix, and it hurt like the dickens. I am, however, acutely aware ….

Kirsten Cronlund, MAPP ’08, is the Director of the Bryn Athyn Church School. She is passionate about marrying positive psychology and positive organizational design in the promotion of Positive Education.…