Trying to suppress my inner critic did not help me get writing done. What worked was listening to what my inner critic was trying to tell me and figuring how how to incorporate that insight into my writing practice. I learned to use curiosity and self-compassion to unlock my words.
Self regulation
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Having recently completed the dissertation for my MAPP program, I can now reflect on the final few weeks before my submission. I felt pressured, had a drop in overall well-being, and struggled to get into flow. Worse still, I wasn’t great company to be around. I thought to myself, as a student and researcher of positive psychology, how could I be unhappy and not flourishing? But at least I wasn’t languishing. What kept me from dipping into languishing?
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AllDecision-MakingMotivationSelf regulation
Positive Psychology & the Illusion of Free Will
by Sherif Arafaby Sherif ArafaPositive Psychology focuses on many constructs that are related to the idea of freedom. Sonja Lyubomirsky found that about 40% of the variation in happiness across a population is attributable to intentional activities rather than genetic or environmental factors. Isn’t she talking about making free decisions?
If freedom is that important, how can we reconcile Positive Psychology with studies that appear to undermine free will?
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Over generations of survivors, humans developed thinking shortcuts which are still very pervasive today. Of these common shortcuts, 5 are very costly to our health. While it is unlikely that we’ll ever break free of their influence, increased mindfulness can alleviate their effects on our thought processes, behaviors, and wellness.
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Since the holiday season is upon us, you can bet that New Year’s Resolutions aren’t far off. Yet only 8% of us consistently achieve our goals for the New Year. That’s not very encouraging, but it’s also no surprise, considering that most of us will just pick a resolution and hope to achieve it without much planning. But to reverse-paraphrase Einstein, if we go about it differently this year, we can get different results. Here are 4 ideas for effectively working toward health goals.
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AllCourageForgivenessGratitudeHopeHumilityHumorIn-the-NewsKindnessLoveOptimismPersistenceSelf regulationStrengthsWisdom
Nelson Mandela: A Life and Legacy of Strengths
December 5, 2013 will be remembered for news of the death of the first black president of South Africa, anti-apartheid icon and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Nelson Mandela. I’m not normally drawn to writing about political leaders. But Mandela was different in every respect. His life was a life well-lived.
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AllGoalsInterviewMindfulnessMotivationSavoring / In-the-MomentSelf regulation
Pursuing Goals: An Interview with Caroline Miller, Part 2
Setting goals is only the first step. Then we need to pursue them. Caroline Miller discusses ways that we can enhance our achievements with behaviors that support goal pursuit.
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In a 2012 Swiss study, researchers Friese, Messner, and Shaffner tested whether a brief period of meditation would lessen the depletion effects of self-control. Their experimental group showed less ego depletion than the control group. Why? How might mindfulness affect self-regulation?
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Forgiveness. Mercy. Prudence. Modesty. The strengths of temperance don’t get as much attention as our more muscular qualities. Yet in a certain sense, maybe this cluster of strengths enables every other strength, and thus makes the good life possible.
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Researchers Amy Cuddy, Dana Carney, Caroline Wilmuth, and Andy Yap have found that just one minutes of taking a power pose can lower lessen fear, increase the capacity for cognitive function, lower stress, and increase feelings of power and the tolerance for risk-taking. This is just right for someone who needs to take the stage.
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AllCreativityHopeIn-the-NewsOptimismRelationshipsSelf regulationSportsStrengths
2012 London Olympic Games: The Optimism Legacy
During the recent London 2012 Olympic Games an unparalleled mood of optimism and hope swept across the United Kingdom. It was without doubt an extraordinary two weeks. The question is whether we can maintain and capitalize on that sense of Olympic optimism now that the games are over, the athletes have all flown home, and life is settling back to normal. As with the sporting legacy, only time will tell.
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Now we will try something different: a TEDx talk by one of our authors about a brain-computer interface that can be used to exercise the part of the brain that is involved in self-control.
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One of the things that most of us look for in life is a feeling of energy. We tend to steer clear of people who drain or deplete us. The sense of vitality is important to us. It lets us know that something is right. But what exactly gives us vigor?
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AllCreativityCuriosityGratitudeHumorKindnessLovePositive EmotionSelf regulationStrengths
Should You Play To Your Signature Strengths or Not?
Some new research from René Proyer and colleagues at the University of Zurich suggests that not all strengths are equal and that strengths-based interventions should focus on those strengths which are correlated highly with life satisfaction. But fortunately for those who do not have curiosity, zest, gratitude, hope and/or love in their signature strengths, all is not lost!
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AllGoalsHabitsMotivationSelf regulationTaking Action
Stress, Willpower, and Wanting What You Want to Want
The APA’s research suggests that less than half of adults who recognize a needed change in lifestyle are able to maintain the change. The #1 barrier to change cited in the survey was a lack of willpower. This is good news, since scientists such as Roy Baumeister have shown that willpower can be developed with exercise. Here is an exercise to build the motivation that underlies willpower.
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AllSelf regulationStrengths_1 Positive Experiences_2 Positive Traits
Going to the Extreme with Strengths and Happiness
If some happiness is good, is more even better? Now positive psychology researchers have conducted a meta-study to explore the costs of extremes. Researchers Barry Schwartz and Adam Grant have explored whether there really is such a thing as too much happiness or an extreme level of a given strength, to the point that happiness and strength become counterproductive for well-being.
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Yesterday I wrote about secrets of goal setting. A survey conducted a few years ago by consultancy FranklinCovey found that 35% of respondents break their resolutions by the end of January. Actually, I was surprised the figure wasn’t higher. So goal commitment is also an important area to examine more closely in positive psychology coaching for self or others.
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AllGoalsParenting & SchoolsSelf regulationTaking Action_2 Positive Traits
Developing Your Willpower by Shoveling Greenland
The need for seemingly endless snow removal has gotten me interested in self-regulation and willpower. It turns out that people who believe that they can’t take it anymore may be right! There’s new research that ties our self-control to our beliefs about it, questioning the model of self-control as a limited resource.
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AllBusinessSelf regulation
Expansive Posture: When You’ve Got It, Flaunt It!
by Aren Cohenby Aren CohenRecent research shows that good posture is important for reasons besides a healthy spine. Researchers at the Kellogg School of Management and Stanford Graduate School of Business found that our posture has a significant effect on our behavior. They found that posture, more than a person’s actual rank or hierarchical role in an organization (i.e. job title), is likely to dictate how a person will think and act.
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AllBusinessHome and FamilySelf regulationTaking Action
Why You Need to Switch Off over the Holiday Period. But Not Too Much!
A recent piece of research from Charlotte Fritz at Portland State University and her colleagues has explored the relationship between switching off from work during non-work time (a.k.a. ‘psychological detachment’), well-being, and productivity.
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