Kindness

As much as we need to feel that we belong and that others want us, it is even more critical to know that we matter, that we have something to offer, and that our contribution is seen and appreciated. Here are some actions that can facilitate a culture of mattering.

When a child is ill, the whole family is in crisis. Often mothers are the ones who nurture and support the entire family. That’s why today and everyday we salute…

How do we act toward people who seem different? Those that act with kindness and respect create something wondrous.

In an earlier article, I wrote about 7 positive psychology behaviors that helped me survive some very traumatic experiences. As I approach the end of another pregnancy, I find myself feeling anxious and over-protective. Looking for ways to stay calm, I’ve found an 8th important behavior: experiencing and acting on compassion for the sufferings of others.

Perhaps it is adversity itself, and the strengths that it builds. For adversity humbles us and reminds us of our limits and our rightful place in the universe. Adversity makes us grateful by preserving small anticipations and accepting the good we find without questioning it. Adversity gives us faith to rise above despair and in so doing, answer the call of the soul. The poor may not have the material riches we possess, but I can’t help wondering who is really the richer or poorer amongst us.

Of the 470 presenters at ISCS, none had a message more compelling than that of Tania Singer, a social neuroscientist from The Max Planck Institute. Singer seems vitally alive as she presents her work, a scientist who has clearly found her calling and is excited to share her findings. She is also studying a neglected type of motivation, Affiliation Motivation. Like many others there, she is embarked on the quest described by the Dalai Lama in the closing speech, “How can we take knowledge from science and apply it in the service of humanity?”

Alexander the Great looked at the philosopher sitting there, impoverished, rags over the rib-thin body, and asked what he was doing. “I am experiencing nothingness,” said the philosopher. “What are you doing?” “I am conquering the world,” responded Alexander, and they both laughed. Each thought the other was a fool.

Wonder by R.J. Palacio is about the highs and lows of a boy with a severe facial disfigurement as he attends middle school for the first time. It’s a brilliant book, very thought provoking on the nature of resilience and friendship and courage and kindness. It has led me to think about kindness, from random acts such as the challenge to NekNominations from South Africa to all the non-randomly kind people who are thoughtful, and helpful to others simply because that’s who they are.

When they want to feel more loved, valued, respected or connected, most people give away their power. They ask (or want) others to be different, which means someone else’s behavior determines how happy they will be.
What do happier people do?

December 5, 2013 will be remembered for news of the death of the first black president of South Africa, anti-apartheid icon and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Nelson Mandela. I’m not normally drawn to writing about political leaders. But Mandela was different in every respect. His life was a life well-lived.

Nick Vujicic was born with phocamelia, a rare congenital condition that involves malformation of the limbs. With only a tiny little foot, he has defied the odds by becoming a motivational speaker, husband, and father. How has this been possible? As I observe him hobble on the platform set up on stage, I take a good hard look at myself. Here are 3 reasons that he inspires me.

An executive with great skill at developing others and forming productive teams worried, “But this is a bit fluffy isn’t it?” Grant and Berg find that employees who are pro-socially motivated take initiative, persist in meaningful tasks, help others, enhance the well-being of others, perform better at work, and have more energy. So why do people think these skills are fluffy?

Pick any chapter from Chris Peterson’s posthumously published book, Pursuing the Good Life: 100 Reflections on Positive Psychology, and you’re in for a real treat. His reflections cover every aspect of what it means to be human and to live a life worth living. Even sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll get a passing mention, although you won’t find them listed in the index.

When my parents responded to a drunk, despondent and aggravated old woman with compassion and respect, they did not know that this kindness would reach the child quietly listening in the next room, plant seeds in his soul, and continue to grow outward for forty years. Whether we are seeking peace in middle school or the Middle East, in most circumstances, the most effective strategy is the one that increases the amount of humanity between people.

During the Martin Luther King Day of Service, thousands of people across the United States volunteered to make a difference in their communities in a variety of projects such as feeding homeless veterans, cleaning parks, and collecting clothes and toys for local children. Volunteering not only strengthens communities and those being helped, but as anyone who volunteers knows, it feels good. But a closer look at the research shows that the benefits of volunteering extend beyond a warm feeling.

Earlier this year, Amanda Horne interviewed Kurt Shuster about his 2011 Advent Calendar in her article, Kindness in the Festive Season. We want to alert our readers that Kurt is doing it again for 2012 starting tomorrow, December 1, 2012.

Some new research from René Proyer and colleagues at the University of Zurich suggests that not all strengths are equal and that strengths-based interventions should focus on those strengths which are correlated highly with life satisfaction. But fortunately for those who do not have curiosity, zest, gratitude, hope and/or love in their signature strengths, all is not lost!

In the days leading up to Christmas Day, some people like to use an Advent Calendar to count down the days, some with a small gift each day such as a chocolate. In 2011, Kurt Shuster turned this idea around to create the online Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar. Find out why and what he learned in this interview by Amanda Horne.