Forgiveness

The practice of forgiveness has been found to improve health outcomes because it reduces physiological responses to stress. Forgiveness can serve as a powerful, self-administered salve. If one does not forgive, it is like handing the transgressor the skeleton key to the door of one’s life. Forgiveness might not prevent the pain of the past, but it can reduce suffering in the future.

From the Wall Street Journal to experts in medicine, therapy, and positive psychology, what does forgiveness mean and how does it affect the forgiver?

December 5, 2013 will be remembered for news of the death of the first black president of South Africa, anti-apartheid icon and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Nelson Mandela. I’m not normally drawn to writing about political leaders. But Mandela was different in every respect. His life was a life well-lived.

There is a lot of compelling evidence across industries, continents, and sectors that positive and virtuous practices pay off. Organizations make more money, are more productive, achieve higher quality, produce higher customer satisfaction, and create higher employee engagement. Moreover, evidence suggests that these relationships are causal. When virtuous practices improve, organizational outcomes improve as well.

If virtuousness is excellence in the human soul, what comprises excellence in the soul of an organization or business?

In their article, Beyond Positive Psychology, McNulty and Fincham give some specific examples of research on relationships where certain contexts cause apparent contradictions of Positive Psychology findings. Forgiveness, optimism, and kindness may all be harmful in certain contexts.

James McNulty and Frank Fincham challenge a key assumption of positive psychology, that certain psychological traits and processes are inherently beneficial for well-being. They say that context, so often ignored in positive psychology research, is paramount. They suggest that well-being is determined jointly by the interplay between those characteristics and qualities of a person’s social environment. They also aver that psychology is not positive or negative. Psychology is psychology.

My mother was the victim of an armed robbery. Revisiting this trauma reminds her (in her words) “to hold them in the light.” How is my mother able not just to allay her anger and to practice forgiveness, but actually to desire the elevation of her aggressors?

Positive interventions such as capitalizing, savoring and expressing gratitude have the potential to intentionally and explicitly cause a favorable change in subjective well-being. Capitalization is about sharing positive events with others which may increase positive emotions and a sense of increased belongingness. The more that positive emotions are shared, the greater likelihood that they will be remembered […].