Spirituality

Our family’s last Thanksgiving celebration was the final holiday we shared with my beloved father nine days before he died. I never know when I will experience a pang or a sobbing bout or a joyful wave of hilarious memories. The only constant is that there are no rules. I appreciate Claire Ansberry’s helpful guidance for people wondering how to say and do helpful things gracefully for people who are grieving.

Perhaps I don’t need to fear the world I leave behind for my children. Perhaps technology is paving the way for them to come together as a common humanity.

At some point or another we all wrestle with questions around why we are here and how to find purpose in life. Being Called is a great introduction to what we can glean from these experiences in the modern world. Sometimes it is a powerful vision of a possible future that pulls us along, pushing us in a new direction, with no regard whatsoever for how we got where we are.

Infatuation with speed is a characteristic of our times. We live in the fastest phase of human history. That can lead to what Larry Dossey in 1982 termed time-sickness, as we become fearful of missing out. The ability to stay with the discomfort of life’s paradoxes and our own ignorance and to remain patient and still while questions and answers grow in never-ending cycles, requires a certain mental toughness that seems to be on its way out in a world in a hurry.

My twins’ busy schedules had become a source of worry for me. Rare were the moments when I saw them relax with a storybook, while the afternoon away with friends, or unwind by throwing hoops in the basketball net.

So I made taking time out a priority.

It may be easier to advocate for positive psychology when life is on an upward slope, but for me, it has been the tough times that have truly shown me the value of the science. In July less than 24 hours after facilitating the Penn Resilience Program I got a phone call which would plunge me into a test of my own resilience.

When they want to feel more loved, valued, respected or connected, most people give away their power. They ask (or want) others to be different, which means someone else’s behavior determines how happy they will be.
What do happier people do?

When my parents responded to a drunk, despondent and aggravated old woman with compassion and respect, they did not know that this kindness would reach the child quietly listening in the next room, plant seeds in his soul, and continue to grow outward for forty years. Whether we are seeking peace in middle school or the Middle East, in most circumstances, the most effective strategy is the one that increases the amount of humanity between people.

Let’s explore ways that people can build spiritual fitness, even those experiencing the physical, social, financial, cognitive, and memory losses that occur more frequently and rapidly in old age. Let’s start with the story of Mrs. M.

Seven hundred people attended a 3-day event on Contemplative Studies including early morning yoga, guided meditations, keynote addresses, panels, master lectures, and posters describing research projects. With hundreds more on a waiting list, the magnitude of the event demonstrated the fervor emerging in the scientific community around contemplative practices.

Both George Vaillant and Jonathan Haidt acknowledge an ancient truth: meaningful rituals reliably produce positive emotions. But the benefit lies less in the act itself than in context and intention.

A year ago I joined a local gospel choir to put ‘sunshine into the soul’ during the long winter months, and it’s undoubtedly been one of the most powerful interventions in my experience. Every time we sing in harmony I can sense the presence of a bunch of positive emotions feeding into my positivity ratio, and it seems I’m not the only one.

Here are some statements from the Science of the Mind Forum held recently in Brisbane Australia with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, psychologist Paul Ekman, neuroscientist Marco Iacoboni, Buddhist scholar B. Allan Wallace, and psychiatrist Patrick McGorry. The panel was moderated by ABC Radio National’s Natasha Mitchell. Transcripts and recordings are available from ABC.

It’s Memorial Day, a time to think about people who are gone. It’s also a good time to think about posttraumatic growth, the experience of positive change that comes through struggling with loss. Growth emerges from struggling with a broken picture of the world, putting it back together in new ways. What kinds of posttraumatic growth are there? What behaviors or social contexts accompany growth?

For twenty years my dear friend Ann and I have been watching the Oprah Winfrey show, so it seemed appropriate that we watch Oprah’s last show together. Through the power of storytelling and television, Oprah brought to life many lessons taught by positive psychologists around the world. She used her final show to share her greatest lessons from 25 years of the Oprah show. Here they are…

Primitive man’s reaction to death was one of fear. Today, man still reacts to death with fear. Without exchanges about end-of-life issues, there is confusion, which adds a psychological, spiritual, and financial burden for those dying, and their families. Our failure to address these concerns can lead to greater suffering.

How can we help people experience more gratitude and build cross-generational ties that enrich their lives? The Joyful Blessing Day design has emerged from monthly events at the Neptune Senior Center, where the “Feeling Great” dance-fitness class members are joined by high school students in an intergenerational workout followed by lunch. The Joyful Blessing Day approach combines music, savoring, and positive conversations across generations.