Relationships

As much as we need to feel that we belong and that others want us, it is even more critical to know that we matter, that we have something to offer, and that our contribution is seen and appreciated. Here are some actions that can facilitate a culture of mattering.

Is there a connection between mothers working outside the home and adolescent depression? What emerged when I studied this question surprised me. It appeared that children of mothers with rewarding careers are actually doing quite well. However children with mothers who are depressed, working or not, are at a much greater risk for adolescent depression. In my quest to help working mothers find well-being, I have found numerous simple mechanisms that working mothers can use to improve their daily experience, thereby reducing the risk of depression in themselves and their children..

ANNOUNCEMENT:  On June 20, we will have a Positive Psychology News webinar featuring James and Suzie Pawelski, authors of  Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts.

We interviewed Pete Berridge and Jen Ostrich on our most recent PPND Webinar. They discussed how to create lasting change in organizations using their technique “The Shift Positive 360 Approach”. Here is the full webinar in case you missed it!

On May 6-7, 2018, the American College of Lifestyle Medicine (ACLM) hosted a ground-breaking Summit on Happiness Science in Health Care: Infusing Positive Psychology into Medicine and Health Care. Participants all recognize the need to connect positive psychology and health care.

Therapist self-care represents a unique application of the principles of positive psychology. Self-care that supports and sustains clinicians’ well-being through positive evidence-based strategies has immense potential not only for the therapists’ wellness, but also for the benefit of those they serve.

The Positive Psychology News Movie Award series is now in its 9th year of providing the best of the best positive psychology movies. I comb through popular, independent, and obscure films from the previous year in order to share with you these awards across positive psychology themes.

Dan Tomasulo is a master storyteller with a purpose. After reading this book, you’ll face the world a little bit differently.

When we have to deny parts of ourselves in order to be accepted in society, the effect is disorienting and energy draining. Imagine a world where men and women can embrace and exhibit all their qualities. It’s worth striving for.

As an organizational development consultant and a leadership coach, I learned a lot from Brafford’s book about how professional organizations can directly apply the research of positive psychology to create better places to work for all employees. These businesses can do well financially by doing well at increasing well-being for their people.

What does it mean for people to matter?

Here’s the good news. When we practice self-compassion on a regular basis, we literally mold our brains for the better, thanks to the power of experience-dependent neuroplasticity. This changes our gene expression towards greater compassion, so that we not only build our relationships, we’re literally evolving our collective brain towards a higher consciousness.

In her book, The Strength Switch Dr. Lea Waters makes distinctions among different kinds of strengths, learned behaviors, and weaknesses. People can become very proficient at learned behaviors, but without the energy and enjoyment associated with strengths. To understand the differences, let’s look at three dimensions for evaluating possible strengths.

We can begin by stepping away from the self-improvement craze and understanding our place in the larger flow of life. What are we here to achieve? What needs can we address (aside from our own) and how can we make a real difference to other lives? Meaning is relational by its very nature. It grows out of bursting our self-reflective bubbles and belonging to something larger than ourselves.

A few years ago, I embarked on a 250-mile road trip to meet Mata Amritanandamayi, affectionately known as Amma, a Hindu spiritual leader who has amplified the simple, powerful, loving gesture of a hug to an astonishing level. Like many things that are authentic and true, when I had my chance, it was nothing like I had imagined, and it was wonderful.

Today I want to highlight two compelling concepts from Happy Together that can help you cultivate stronger and happier relationships.

As the calendar bends towards Valentine’s Day, Happy Together is a wonderful book for you and the important people in your life. It provides a dazzling array of easy-to-implement exercises to keep your relationships strong and energetic. The Pawelskis demonstrate that relationships can get better with age, like fine bottles of wine.

How do we act toward people who seem different? Those that act with kindness and respect create something wondrous.

Kegan’s 5th order of consciousness involves being able to hold onto multiple perspectives at the same time, bound together by common questions, not letting ourselves be not thrown apart in the search for common answers. Given the challenges we face in the world, the timing couldn’t be more right.

Our family’s last Thanksgiving celebration was the final holiday we shared with my beloved father nine days before he died. I never know when I will experience a pang or a sobbing bout or a joyful wave of hilarious memories. The only constant is that there are no rules. I appreciate Claire Ansberry’s helpful guidance for people wondering how to say and do helpful things gracefully for people who are grieving.