Fields

Infatuation with speed is a characteristic of our times. We live in the fastest phase of human history. That can lead to what Larry Dossey in 1982 termed time-sickness, as we become fearful of missing out. The ability to stay with the discomfort of life’s paradoxes and our own ignorance and to remain patient and still while questions and answers grow in never-ending cycles, requires a certain mental toughness that seems to be on its way out in a world in a hurry.

If someone told you that the question about whether happiness could be measured was settled and the issue at hand is how to use happiness data, would you believe it? Most would say no, but a growing number of psychologists, economists, community activists, and policy makers are proving that happiness is quantifiable and that the data is useful.

Two years ago, my two-year-old son suffered a severe scald burn covering 16 percent of his body. My unborn baby had a birth defect needing attention. In the year-and-a-half that followed, I saw my boys through four surgeries. I went through two surgeries myself after a complicated second trimester pregnancy loss. Seven particular tools from positive psychology helped me come through some very difficullt times. I believe I have experienced posttraumatic growth following these adversities, and Roepke and Seligman’s recent article helps me see why.

It took three weeks of focused effort in between my coaching clients to retrieve my basement and garage from the eyesore category. I admit it was not all play. There was back-bending, muscle-aching grunt work involved. But in my humbly proud mind, the journey’s end was titled “Positivity Parked Here!”

How about you? What paths do you choose to clear? Here’s to work/play lighting your way to flourishing.

Sometimes our children do something totally unexpected and unacceptable. Then we try desperately to make sense of what happened by playing it over and over in our minds. We can hope for particular outcomes, but with that hope comes fear that it will not be so. Is the road to fearlessness found by giving up hope and letting go of dreams? But not to dream of their futures is an intolerable posture.

Though I have searched the positive psychology literature, I have found very little about the link between the humanities and well-being. Nevertheless, research in positive psychology linking the humanities with well-being could have far-reaching results and would be a proper study of mankind.

As these thoughts and images flashed through my mind, I had a sudden surge of humility. The awareness that I did not have all the answers grounded me in my own limitations. The realization that she was not asking for my solutions but simply talking out loud to find her own solution made me question my role as a parent.

On Sunday morning at the IPPA World Congress, I heard Barbara Fredrickson give a keynote address about a fundamental challenge of our time, helping people build healthy habits. She suggested that finding enjoyment in healthy behaviors can create an upward spiral. Liking leads to wanting. Wanting affects the spontaneous thoughts that pop up in peoples’ minds. Those thoughts lead to small choices that affect health. Imagine my amazement when I saw her positivity spiral in action in the airport food court just a few hours later.

We all have our own little bubbles of fear resting deep within us. Our relationships with our children take us back to these bubbles. I am beginning to recognize my reactions as based on these fears and to forgive myself for being human, so I can embark on the journey to change. I am reconnecting to my own goodness and beginning to embrace the parts of me that want to love unconditionally and accept non-judgmentally.

As a mother, I knew what was best for him, I told myself. I could not trust his teenage judgment. But something deeper prompted me to question my reasoning. Did I fear knowing his goals in case they were different from mine? Was I running away from the possibility that his ideals of success would not measure up to societal standards? Would I be able to face it if they didn’t? I slowly began to see myself hiding behind the guise of motherhood.

The benefits of physical activity for mental health are well-known, but for some people the word exercise summons up images of sweaty discomfort. Walking is a gentle form of exercise that has the advantage of getting you out into the great outdoors.

Rosalind Turner and I are facilitating a walk for well-being on Sunday 17th May as part of Bristol Walk Fest. Come join us, or perhaps you can get something organized where you live.

Yes, I could rest assured that they will not be gullible in life. But this thought did not reassure me. Instead, something gnawed at my heart. Something murmured its disquiet.

If oxytocin helps inhibit fear, and fear keeps us from exercise, can higher levels of oxytocin lead to more physical activity?

If you have only one question to ask someone about their character strengths, make it, “What strengths are most essential to who you are and define you as a person?

At a recent workshop at Esalen in Big Sur, experts from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center “explored the roots of personal happiness and offered concrete, science-based approaches to boosting happiness in one’s self and others.“

The arts have inspired us for centuries. Think of the emotion you still feel when you hear the song you associate with your first kiss or remember the play that made you laugh to tears. The arts add much richness to life. Yet, they are practically absent from work places.

Let’s explore what the arts can contribute to our work lives and to good health.

Love Sense is indeed about romantic love as popularly defined. More specifically the book targets prospects for “happy ever after.” According to Johnson’s clinical experience, despite inevitable conflicts or setbacks, true long range love is no fairy tale. This book is also about the many other forms of strong attachment because the author believes the roots of all human affection are essentially the same.

I first encountered Fredrike Bannink when she was leading a conference. workshop on techniques for positive supervision. I was impressed by her gentleness, her realism, her practicality, and her humor. She had seen and handled all the problems that people raised. I thought, “I would love to learn from this woman. She knows how to stimulate outstanding performance.”

Now I have the chance with this wonderful resource.

The Mind & Life International Symposium on Contemplative Studies was a beautiful mix of opportunities to learn about the scientific study of contemplative practices and to experience the practices themselves. In this first article on the conference, I explore why this area of study is booming and why it matters that aging brains are more plastic than once thought.

Moral beauty pays tribute to our stature as a social species. It elevates us towards selfless pro-social behaviors and connects us at the level of common humanity. Physical beauty, on the other hand, ties no familiar thread across time and culture.