If we perceive our best selves in terms of ideal and ought standards, our sense of emotional well-being will be contingent upon our success in upholding those standards. A more adaptive approach is to distinguish our best selves from how we would ideally like to be and how we feel we ought to be.
We are constantly in an internal dialogue with ourselves. We comment, we evaluate, and we judge. Although such inner conversations may seem benign at first sight, what we say to ourselves about ourselves can in fact have an important influence on our emotional well-being as well as our beliefs about our capabilities. Stepping back, mindful awareness can give us more choice and flexibility in how we deal with negative thoughts and emotions.