Homaira Kabir

I guess it is the nature of parenthood to find your children ungrateful. Or at least not as grateful as they could be, should be or used to be. This feeling really hit me hard when my twins entered their teenage years. Then I realized how easily I had erased the memories of my little pigeons helplessly hooked up in their incubators, how conveniently I had become ungrateful to the forces that had listened to my desperate pleas for the life and health of my little babies.

Although life may simply be a meaningless ride that we try and cloak with a fulfilling purpose, humor allows us to laugh at the insignificance of most things in the vast flow of human experience and yet connect to what we find truly important.

No baby learned to walk by receiving a beating for its tumbles or taunts about the perfect stride. I have also learned that the best version of me is not one that is perfect, but one that is human, hopeful, fallible, energetic, and emotional.

This year, I have decided to build a mud-room in my mind. Yes, I can see your confusion, but hear me out and it will begin to make more sense.

Emotions evolved over millennia to ensure our survival. Each one has a purpose. It reminds us to call attention, take action, avoid the situation, reach out to others, give back, feel connected, and a myriad of other thought-action repertoires that ensure not only our survival but also our well-being in life. Compassion meditation helps us to acknowledge the message in our emotions. Think of the subconscious mind as the captain of our ship under the seas. We would do well to be attentive to his call, hear his message and then guide him from our vantage point above the waters.

My first-born has left the nest. Like the mother bird that nurtured and tended, I watch her fly away with pride and just a little trepidation. What strengths can I draw on to deal with my heart filled with longing?