Comments on: Why Not Me? Self-sacrifice As The 25th Strength http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951 Positive Psychology News Daily - Daily boost of research-based happiness. Authored by University of Pennsylvania graduates of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program (MAPP). Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:10:07 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: George Vaillant http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951/comment-page-1#comment-129377 George Vaillant Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:43:39 +0000 http://PositivePsychologyNews.com/?p=2951#comment-129377 Brilliant, Sherri. Thank yu so much. If the list were not graven in stone I would add it' Warmly, George Brilliant, Sherri. Thank yu so much. If the list were not graven in stone I would add it’
Warmly, George

]]> By: Sherri Fisher http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951/comment-page-1#comment-129369 Sherri Fisher Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:29:56 +0000 http://PositivePsychologyNews.com/?p=2951#comment-129369 Hi, MarieJ-- I am open to calling the strength something different. I chose this term, however, because it is what religious and philosphical traditions call it, and the term shows up in more popular media as well. I wanted something that was unlike the existing VIA terms, too. I agree that the CSF strengths add something in terms of the need we have to "do" somrthing, and they are not so values laden. I do think, however, that values are an essential part of self-sacrifice, and that it would not have to result in death. Mother Teresa is a paragon of the strength and she lived to old age. There are combinations of strengths that can become something that is more than the sum of the parts, and maybe this is one of those that becomes something new when we don the mantle. Cheers, Sherri Hi, MarieJ–
I am open to calling the strength something different. I chose this term, however, because it is what religious and philosphical traditions call it, and the term shows up in more popular media as well. I wanted something that was unlike the existing VIA terms, too.

I agree that the CSF strengths add something in terms of the need we have to “do” somrthing, and they are not so values laden. I do think, however, that values are an essential part of self-sacrifice, and that it would not have to result in death. Mother Teresa is a paragon of the strength and she lived to old age.

There are combinations of strengths that can become something that is more than the sum of the parts, and maybe this is one of those that becomes something new when we don the mantle.

Cheers,
Sherri

]]> By: Marie-Josee Salvas http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951/comment-page-1#comment-129367 Marie-Josee Salvas Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:46:30 +0000 http://PositivePsychologyNews.com/?p=2951#comment-129367 Hi Sherri! I must say that you make a compelling argument, and I'd like to add a thought. Buckingham defines strengths slightly differently than Peterson & Seligman: he talks about what we feel compelled to, interested in and excited to do. For him, strengths are the things we look forward to, the things we "get" to do, as opposed to those we "have" to do. Reading your article, I wondered if self-sacrifice could fit this definition. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, I'm not certain. However, if we used the same concept, but named it differently, then maybe the link gets clearer. What do you think of naming your strength devotion rather than self-sacrifice? It would still fit your full argument, but maybe sound a bit more compelling, less potentially painful. What do you think? Warmly, MarieJ Hi Sherri!

I must say that you make a compelling argument, and I’d like to add a thought.

Buckingham defines strengths slightly differently than Peterson & Seligman: he talks about what we feel compelled to, interested in and excited to do. For him, strengths are the things we look forward to, the things we “get” to do, as opposed to those we “have” to do.

Reading your article, I wondered if self-sacrifice could fit this definition. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, I’m not certain. However, if we used the same concept, but named it differently, then maybe the link gets clearer. What do you think of naming your strength devotion rather than self-sacrifice? It would still fit your full argument, but maybe sound a bit more compelling, less potentially painful.

What do you think?

Warmly,
MarieJ

]]> By: Sherri Fisher http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951/comment-page-1#comment-129366 Sherri Fisher Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:56:15 +0000 http://PositivePsychologyNews.com/?p=2951#comment-129366 Hi, Amanda- I think you raise some interesting questions. In the case of someone who is working very hard--maybe too hard--I'd wonder if it is not really self-sacrifice but that a need or iceberg belief underlies the negative outcomes. If that were my client, that is a place that I would be heading. Using one's strengths tends to make us happier. The fact that Joe exhibited loyalty to Brian that could have resulted in Joe's death is essential in combat. There are medals to show it is institutionally valued, and while you or I might not be ready to enlist, any, many people do. Also, our strengths may affect our family in negative ways that are not negative for us. Relationship building and maintenance is full of give and take that way. Cheers, Sherri Hi, Amanda-
I think you raise some interesting questions. In the case of someone who is working very hard–maybe too hard–I’d wonder if it is not really self-sacrifice but that a need or iceberg belief underlies the negative outcomes. If that were my client, that is a place that I would be heading.

Using one’s strengths tends to make us happier. The fact that Joe exhibited loyalty to Brian that could have resulted in Joe’s death is essential in combat. There are medals to show it is institutionally valued, and while you or I might not be ready to enlist, any, many people do.

Also, our strengths may affect our family in negative ways that are not negative for us. Relationship building and maintenance is full of give and take that way.

Cheers,
Sherri

]]> By: Amanda http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/sherri-fisher/200907052951/comment-page-1#comment-129364 Amanda Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:52:29 +0000 http://PositivePsychologyNews.com/?p=2951#comment-129364 Hi Sherri This is a very thought-provoking piece. While reading, I recalled a recent meeting with a client who works very hard. Their work is their passion, they put their clients first, they take great pleasure in delivering the outcomes. The self-sacrifice comes in the form of personal health issues, and potentially affecting their relationship with their spouse. Could this be a case of a strength over-used? Yet your first story of Joe who would have gladly died to save Brian, would (to state the obvious) affect Joe's health, and been very upsetting to his friends/family? Is Joe's story about a strength over-used, or an act of moral beauty (in Jon Haidt's words) which inspires us? Great article - thanks! Amanda Hi Sherri

This is a very thought-provoking piece. While reading, I recalled a recent meeting with a client who works very hard. Their work is their passion, they put their clients first, they take great pleasure in delivering the outcomes. The self-sacrifice comes in the form of personal health issues, and potentially affecting their relationship with their spouse. Could this be a case of a strength over-used?

Yet your first story of Joe who would have gladly died to save Brian, would (to state the obvious) affect Joe’s health, and been very upsetting to his friends/family? Is Joe’s story about a strength over-used, or an act of moral beauty (in Jon Haidt’s words) which inspires us?

Great article – thanks!
Amanda

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