Words like “zealots” and “nazis” are strong words. Wayne, I’m wondering why you choose to focus on this? Any particular experiences you have had?

It seems to me that if we have a deep understanding and a thoughtful approach to the habits we all need to change, then we would be centered on that, and running into an unpleasant nazi or zealot here or there would be merely a distraction rather than something that somehow defines the whole issue of our relationship to clean air, clean water, what we put into our bodies, species extinction, etc. It’s easy for all of us to agree that zealots “rub people up the wrong way,” but agreeing about that doesn’t add a lot to our inspiration!

My own guess is that, on the one hand, many truly great leaders, from Harvey Milk to Martin Luther King to Gandhi — were absolutely dismissed as zealots (the term “Nazi” thrown about casually wasn’t “in” then) by many or most of their contemporaries who disagreed with them. So, we should be careful who we throw into the trash can. Even Wharton Business School right now has signs in the bathrooms asking, “do you really need to use that extra sheet of tissue?” which I love. Zealotry, nazism, in the toilet stalls of Wharton? I don’t think so. I think it’s on everybody’s mind, including lots of sociologists and psychologists, who are constantly researching what works to create pro-environmental behavioral change. (Hotels, it turns out, are best off if they leave signs saying “many of our guests prefer to leave only the towels they have used on the floor, so that not all towels need to be washed,” or something like that, indicating the popularity of this water-saving, electricity-saving behavior.)

And that gets back to the point of doing what works. Yes, I’ve heard stories of “vegan nazis” who lecture a complete stranger for putting cream in their coffee when soy milk is available… that is a turn-off, a petty negative hostile behavior instead of a constructive, engaging, social leadership behavior. But, there is a HUGE array of constructive and engaging leadership to be explored, and hey — with my own very favorite body of water, the Chesapeake Bay, so badly compromised right now, I for one don’t want to delay.
I’m planning to start with some Chesapeake Bay Lovers brunches, coming right up, because I’ve always witnessed that food and drink makes just about everything more fun…

Louis, I love the playfulness aspect you raise, too. I’ve been incorporating that into my own pro-environmental work a lot, especially lately, and it was great to see that affirmed. There are so many examples out there, too; but will have to write about that another time. All for now…

But still, being environmentally conscious is something that has not gone far enough — especially on Main Street, America. Not sure how it is by you, abroad. How many people do you know who choose not to recycle? It irks me to no end that companies like Starbucks, for example, have not yet made this a priority.

Perhaps smaller companies can be more easily influenced. Right around Thanksgiving, I was in a local deli having lunch. When I finished my bottle of water and looked around for a recycle bin, I was disheartened not to find one. I made it my point, then, to find the manager, explain how necessary (and easy!) it is that he put out recycling bins. I told him how much I enjoy eating at his establishment, but that this would be a deal-breaker. Haven’t been back yet to see if it made a difference, but at least I spoke up. It’s important that we speak up…and now.

Louis

One day, during a break in class, Ann and I went downstairs to the deli to get iced teas. It was one of those self-serve situations, where we poured our own, and then took them to the cash register to pay.

By instinct, I reached for a plastic lid and straw for my cup of tea when she asked, “Do you really need those?”

When I realized what she was inferring—that we were going right back up the escalators to sit in another few hours of lecture, I realized that I didn’t need to waste the plastic lid and straw. I could simply drink from the cup.

At that moment, Ann served as a Social-Emotional Leader for me. She helped me see something that I had “failed to notice” and perhaps habitually so. This is not to suggest that I will never use a plastic lid or straw again; that is ridiculous. I am just more conscious of when lids and straws are necessary and when perhaps they are not.

We need more “Anns” in our lives to help us gain consciousness (one of the first steps in any change process) of what we may fail to notice. I suppose the power in her role as SEL was in her question–”Do you really need those, Louis?”. SELs help us get in tune with what we need vs. what we want. Especially during this time of economic despair, I think these “appreciative” inquiries are really necessary in building hope for our ever-changing realities.

To address your question about the role of despair with hope, I do think (from my own experience) that it’s necessary to get real with loss before, during, even sometimes after, we build hope. Reminds me of Chris Feutdner’s work in palliative care. Tattooed on my back is a Latin phrase, “Per Aspera Ad Astra” which means “Through the thorns, to the stars.”

I truly believe that Social-Emotional Leaders help us peel the layers of our emotional selves and introduce us to some of the tools (see Salovey, P., Mayer, J. D., & Caruso, D. (2005)) that can be beneficial in the process of really getting to that empowering place of infinite pathways and intrinsic agency. Reminds me a bit of Harvey Milk’s ability to inspire hope – so I’ll sign off with his own call to action —

“I’m here to recruit you” — and other Social-Emotional Leaders. Let’s work together to build hope and inspire people to become their best selves.

Thank you, Iris, for your contribution to this thread and for your continued passion to inspire positive change.

Warmly,
Louis

It worked really well for me an Nick Hall during the past few months as we were both preparing our applications to graduate school. We both stayed on target as true Aristotelian Friends! Let me know how it goes with you and yours, please.

Best,
Louis

Louis, in addition to SE leadership, this post is a really welcome intro to small-step goals and asking for help from friends. I’m going to take your advice and do an exchange type thing with close friends who want to grow. There are some coaching things friends start to reach out for, and it’s nice when I’m mindful enough to catch them at those times. And there’s a ton I need help with – my research, tech things for PPND, marketing to grow PPND. And I have done exchanges before for coaching because I love coaching anyway. I may try that with a close friend too. I have sometimes on and off, but I think what’s nice is consistency – saying, “let’s try this for four weeks back and forth.”

I’m really liking the Louis-Sean-Christine comments in this thread.

Best, and almost the new year…
S!

Thanks for the warm feedback. I agree that the reminder is good for all of us. I know for me, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in my own life that sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important — my life in relationship to other people.

Wishing you all good things in the new year, too-
Louis