David J. Pollay, MAPP '06, is a co-founder of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA). David has an Economics degree from Yale University and has held leadership positions at Yahoo!, MasterCard, Global Payments and AIESEC. He is an Executive Coach who specializes in business relationships. He is also an author and keynote speaker known for his best-selling books, The Law of the Garbage Truck (how to navigate negativity) and The 3 Promises (how to create personal fulfillment every day). David's articles are here. For permission to reprint David's articles, please contact him.
It’s time to break this cycle of thinking. Stop limiting yourself. Let other people help you think about how to achieve your dreams. Call in their mind power.
Consider this. You’re at a party and someone says, “What are you up to?” How would you respond? Most of the time I hear people fumble through their answers. They say things like, “Not much. Business is good. Family’s good. How about you?”
Why waste time boring yourself and others with responses like these. Skip that stuff. Let other people share in your passion; ask for their ideas and advice. Most people will feel closer to you as a result. And those who show no interest in your passion are better left alone; there’s no need to spend much time with people who do not care about what matters to you.
“People who report high levels of commitment and involvement in their goals show a high level of well-being and low distress,” reported psychology researchers Jari-Erik Nurmi and Katariina Salmela-Aro in a chapter they wrote in A Life Worth Living by Mihaly and Isabella Csikszentmihalyi.
Share Your Passion
Here’s how I like to respond to the question, “What are you up to?” I say, “I’m excited about my new television program, and I’m having a lot of fun writing my weekly newspaper columns. You know, I’d love your thoughts on something.” I open myself to their feedback and give them a chance to contribute. Then I return the favor and ask them what they are focusing on. I try to engage them.
Heidi Goff, former MasterCard Division General Manager once told me, “Always come ready with your paperwork to be signed.” Her point was that you should believe in your work enough that you are ready for someone to sign on the bottom line at any time.
Goff’s advice also applies to meeting people. You should be ready to share your passion with others. People may be ready to help you right now.
You must trust yourself to know that you are committed to your dreams; you are sincere in your desire to change your life. Don’t get caught up in an inner dialogue that questions your commitment to your passion. It won’t help you to repeat, “I’m not sure if I really want to do this or not, so I better not say anything.”
You have to trust that your dreams are real. You have to trust that while you might not yet have a plan to make your dreams a reality, you will. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself.
Fernando Flores and Robert Solomon in their book Trust wrote, “The freedom provided by trust is the freedom to think for oneself and speak up with one’s ideas. It includes as its consequence (not its cost) the freedom to be questioned and criticized – and the right to be recognized and (if deserving) rewarded.”
Share Your Dreams
My Mom’s Mom used to say to us, “Don’t hide your light in a bushel basket.” My grandmother wanted us to get out and connect with people. “Let them know what you’re doing. Let them know what’s important to you.”
Share your dreams. Let people help you. Make 2008 a great year!
Nurmi, J.-E. & Salmela-Aro, K. (2006). chapter in M. Csikszentmihalyi & I. Csikszentmihalyi (Eds.) A Life Worth Living: Contributions to Positive Psychology (Series in Positive Psychology). Oxford University Press.
Dreamers courtesy of jurvetson