Comments on: Toxic Workplaces

By: Stephanie Kiser

Stephanie Kiser — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:08:19 +0000

Amanda,
I really enjoyed your article because I think more people need to speak up about the negativity that some co-workers bring to the workforce. I have seen how much it brings down people that I love, who come home in tears after feeling invisible after working at the same company for 2 years and being backstabbed, talked about, whispered about and ignored.
There have been times when I was at work, when a co-worker would be so rude, it seemed she was made of vile and had not one ounce of kindness in her, that I would cry all the time at the front desk. This clearly would not work for me, yet she would never get reprimanded because she was higher on the business chain than I was. I would most likely get in trouble for showing emotions than she would for being nasty.
Your tips on how to defeat these conditions and people are helpful, but what do you do when you are too shy or too quiet to speak up about any of it? My partner is going through this problem right now, but will not stand up for herself or speak up, for fear of it getting worse, people treating her worse, and no change, just her co-workers now looking at her and talking about her behind her back in a more negative way than before.
Again, thank you for writing about this problem because it goes on in so many organizations and businesses and I don’t think a lot of people, managers or owners are made aware of it or they just don’t care to bring it to light and change the way they work. Even though, if they do change the way these people acted, and the workplace became a more positive environment, then work would most likely get done faster, smoother, with less friction. There would be less turnover, more smiles, and a real energy and motivation to do the work for personal satisfaction.

By: Margaret Greenberg

Margaret Greenberg — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:08:04 +0000

Amanda – I’m catching up on email after the long holiday weekend here in the US and I came across your insightful article and the lively discussion that followed. Another great tool is Tom Rath’s How Full is Your Bucket book. There’s a quick on-line assessment you can take periodically to gauge how well you are filling or depleting people’s buckets. Margaret
P.S. – I so enjoyed getting to know you at the IPPA conference!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:56:59 +0000

Amanda L – thank you for your additional thoughts

You wrote “might the quality of the organizational leadership be the real place to try and make that positive difference”. Reminds me of Zimbardo’s comment at the IPPA Congress: “Most evil exists because there is passive tolerance”. Leaders have a role in not allowing passive tolerance to occur, and indeed to be more proactive in creating a positive workplace.

Amanda H

By: Amanda Horne

Amanda Horne — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:19:24 +0000

Wayne – that’s a very helpful piece of advice which could translate to what people can do for themselves to manage toxic environments.

Senia – an interesting question. Chapters 3 and 5 provided practical ‘how to’ advice. Chapter 6 is an interesting one “The Virtues of Assholes”.

Jeff – glad this is timely for you. Regarding your current workplace, you could have a lot of fun analysing what’s going well in your organisation, and why it’s going well, and what can be done to build on this.

Amanda

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:20:05 +0000

Monica

If I had time, I would have added in the article the impact Peter Frost had on me. I read his book in 2003 and attended a workshop he ran in Australia in 2004. This opened up the world of Positive Organizational Scholarship and Appreciative Inquiry. It was only after following more links that I discovered Pos Psych. It’s such a shame he died not long after his visit. I’ll ask the editors if we can include the link to Compassionlab – it’s a great site. I also loved your article which i commented on the PPND article 22 Sept ‘08.

MarieJ – agree! there is more work there for Monica

Amanda

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:11:32 +0000

Sean: I definitely agree! Helping people to learn how to behave ‘positively’, in the broadest sense of the word, means they will be doing those things which energise and uplift, build, enhance. I should have added Appreciative Inquiry in there as a process, which not just neutralises, but goes far beyond.

Thanks for responding; I followed your link and love what you do.

MarieJ – Sutton has a chapter on what happens when we slowly become infected by jerks and become a jerk ourselves, sometimes without realising it.

Amanda

By: Jeff

Jeff — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 13:46:58 +0000

Amanda,

My current workplace is light-years better than the one I just left. The people are great, the pay is higher, there is a sense of camraderie that was sorely lacking at the old place.

The big question is why? What are the fewest factors that separate a healthy, abundant workplace from a miserable depressogenic one? Once that is well established, how can individuals shape their coworkers in a positive ways?

Your piece was timely and practical. There is no higher praise.

Jeff

By: Marie-Josee Salvas

Marie-Josee Salvas — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:00:31 +0000

Great article on an important issue, Amanda!

As an added thought, incivility can come from work peers, and it can also come from clients. “Difficult” clients can be a reflection of poor service, or it can be a reflection of their individual personality. While a leader can manage jerk peers or improve on poor service, managing individual client characteristics is usually trickier.

In all these cases, I think Sean’s suggestion is the most appropriate and practical recommendation. As Amanda pointed out, people don’t just wake up in the morning thinking “I’m going to be a jerk today!” They end up acting like jerks because they are under pressure, are dissatisfied or defensive. Either way, they’re in a bad place and compassion is probably the best way to turn a difficult situation into something better.

As Margaret likes to say “it’s the soft skills that’s the hard stuff!” because in the moment, it doesn’t always come naturally and in business, compassion is not the go-to reaction. Monica, there’s work for you!

MarieJ

By: WJ

WJ — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:23:32 +0000

Amanda, In my seminars I often refer to a piece of research that shows that people with high levels of personal wellbeing are less likely to leave when confronted by a bullying boss. Those with low levels of PWB have to resort to ingratiation in order to survive.

By: Senia

Senia — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:02:46 +0000

Amanda,

What was your favorite section in the Bob Sutton book?

Best,
S.