Going to Extremes?

Imagine that you had an application that would guarantee your happiness. How happy would you want to be? Would you go for “Can’t complain,” or maybe “Delighted,” is more your style? Perhaps you’d want to be “Jubilant” or even “Ecstatic!”

If some happiness is good, is more even better?

For thousands of years philosophers have debated this, and now positive psychology researchers have conducted a meta-study to explore the costs of extremes. Researchers Barry Schwartz (Swarthmore College), author of the extremely popular book The Paradox of Choice, and Adam Grant (Wharton School of Business) have explored whether there really is such a thing as too much happiness or an extreme amount of strengths, to the point that they become counterproductive for well-being.

No Such Thing as Unmitigated Good

So what are the costs of the extremes?  Schwartz and Grant are clear about this: “There is no such thing as an unmitigated good. All positive traits, states, and experiences have costs, and high levels may begin to outweigh their benefits.”

Further, they warn that while overall, positive psychology interventions have been valuable for improving psychological well-being and for reducing the symptoms of depression, this may have led to an unsupportable assumption that more is better and that strengths (positive traits) and positive emotions have no dark side. Grant and Schwartz stress that at very high levels, nearly all positive effects actually begin to turn negative.

Risky Rodeo

For example, while moderate levels of positive emotion enhance creativity, very high levels do not. While happier people live longer on average, intensely happy people engage in risky behaviors and live shorter lives. When looking for pictures of rodeo riders to illustrate this point, I found several, including one where the rider was already wearing a sling on his right arm!

Moderately happy people, the ones we call chronically happy (or happy over a long period of time), earn significantly more than their unhappy counterparts, but extremely happy people actually earn lower salaries.  Moderate levels of optimism support confidence and improve planning, but very high optimism (what we might call unrealistic optimism), can lead to a lack of awareness of risks and therefore poor preparation when facing challenges. Even people with extremely high self-efficacy may stick with a strategy that dooms them to failure instead of second-guessing themselves.

All of this makes sense when we step from the Positive Psychology world into the traditional one, where extreme happiness is “mania” and extreme persistence is “obsession.”

Too Strong?

So why are researchers in the field of Positive Psychology so interested in reminding us about the limitations of extremes in the search for the good life? Interestingly, in the Schwartz and Grant metastudy, only one strength among the 24 from Seligman and Peterson’s Character Strengths and Virtues did not lead to extremes. Even the ones that are widely associated with happiness, such as love, gratitude, zest, optimism, and curiosity, not only cease to be effective at very high levels; they can lead to unhappiness and even danger.

So what is the one strength that does not seem to have diminishing marginal utility? Self-regulation. Apparently you cannot have too much of a strength that regulates itself.  So there is no extreme self-regulation, for then you are not regulating yourself, by definition.

Emerging Questions

Fortunately, Grant and Schwartz are not sounding the alarm that actions for increasing positive emotion and positive experience or for enhancing strengths and virtues are a danger to us all. What they are recommending is that researchers expand the scope of “theoretical and methodological progress” to deepen our understanding of the effects, both positive and negative, of our character traits, psychological states, and experience. Three questions guide this recommendation:

1. How much is too much of a strength, virtue, or positive experience?
    
2. Why does the strength, virtue, or positive experience have undesirable effects?
    
3. When does the strength, virtue, or positive experience have negative outcomes?

You may think that there would be a “different strokes for different folks” sort of answer for each of these, but Grant and Schwartz remind us that while individuals may differ somewhat, overall, the evidence is clear that too much of a good thing is just that.  How would you answer the three questions?

References

Grant, A. & Schwartz, B. (2011). Too much of a good thing: The challenge and opportunity of the inverted-U, Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(1), 61-76.

Happy courtesy of Alan Cleaver
Rodeo courtesy of Thomas Hawk
Mr Flip courtesy of Philip Kromer

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Yesterday I wrote about secrets of goal setting. Today I’m following up with a few factors that affect maintaining goal commitment.

Did you make any New Year’s Resolutions on 31 Dec 2011 and if so, are you still sticking with them or have you already given up? A survey conducted a few years ago by consultancy FranklinCovey found that 35% of respondents break their resolutions by the end of January. Actually, I was surprised the figure wasn’t higher. So goal commitment is also an important area to examine more closely in positive psychology coaching for self or others.

Goal Qualities that Facilitate Commitment

Two Goals: Going Green

1. Proximal rather than distal (psychology-speak for ‘nearer to us in time’ rather than ‘further away in time’)
2. About learning rather than performance evaluation (e.g. focusing on acquiring knowledge and skills rather than on attaining a specific grade or score)
3. About promotion rather than prevention (perhaps another way to say approach versus avoidance)

Looking Forward or Looking Back?

There are other ways to strengthen your commitment to your goals and improve your chances of success. Did you know, for instance, that it makes a difference to your self-motivation whether you focus on the progress you’ve already made or on the things you have left to do? Research suggests that if you are fully committed to your goals, you can maintain your motivation by focusing on to go information, that is, what you have left to accomplish. But if your commitment is uncertain you can increase your self-motivation by focusing on to date information, that is, what you have already accomplished.

Self-control and Why Blood Sugar Matters

Working core muscles

According to psychologist Roy Baumeister, self-regulation is a bit like a muscle – the more you exercise it the stronger it gets. Being more disciplined in one domain of your life, for example in taking physical exercise or managing your finances, can help you develop greater self-control in other areas.

Don’t forget that self-control requires energy; it appears that self-control depends on the level of glucose in the blood, so that a failure of self-control is more likely at times when blood glucose levels fluctuate. This means that eating properly to maintain steady blood glucose is conducive to maintaining your self-control.
 
Conclusion

Talking about New Year’s Resolutions and goals with my neighbor Stella, who is in her late 70′s, I wondered what was the key to her success. Even though she doesn’t set formal goals, pretty much every activity she does is intrinsically motivated and about learning something new. She takes things step by step. She’s also a woman who speaks her mind. “When you get to my age, you don’t have time to fool around,” she said in her characteristically forthright style. “If you want to do something you just get on with it.”

“Does she set SMART goals?” I wondered to myself. I didn’t ask though. I think I knew what the answer would be.

Brdar, I., Rijavec, M. & Miljkovic, D. (2009). Life goals and well-being: Are extrinsic aspirations always detrimental to well-being? Psychological Topics, 18(2), 317-334.

Dweck, C. S. (1999). Self-theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development (Essays in Social Psychology). Philadelphia: Psychology Press.

Elliot, A., Sheldon, K., & Church, M. (1997). Avoidance personal goals and subjective well-being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 915-927.

Higgins, E. T. (1997). Beyond pleasure and pain. American Psychologist, 52, 1280-1300.

Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (2001). Be careful what you wish for: Optimal functioning and the relative attainment of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. In P. Schmuck & K. M. Sheldon (Eds.), Life goals and well-being: Towards a positive psychology of human striving (pp. 116-131). Gottingen: Hogrefe & Huber Publishers.

Linley, P.A., Maltby, J., Wood, A.M, Joseph, S., Harrington et al. (2007). Character strengths in the UK: The VIA Inventory of Strengths. Personality and Individual Differences 43, 341–351.

Miller, C. A. & Frisch, M. B. (2009), Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide. New York: Sterling.

Muraven, M., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). Self-regulation and depletion of limited resources: Does self-control resemble a muscle? Psychological Bulletin, 126, 247-259.

Baumeister, R. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Penguin Books.

Images

Going Green courtesy of Krissy Venosdale

Working core muscles courtesy of Victoria Shephard

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Editor’s note: Bridget’s article about goals comes in two pieces: Today’s piece is about setting goals, and tomorrow’s piece is about goal commitment.

It’s the end of January already! “Where has the time gone?” my elderly neighbor Stella asked this morning as we chatted about the weather, our families, and which birds we had  spotted in our gardens (the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds is doing a nationwide Bird Watch this weekend).

Stella is a real inspiration – she‘s in her late 70s, happily divorced with three grown-up children, and as well as being an avid birdwatcher, she paints and leads a regular poetry class at the local University of the Third Age.

We talked about New Year’s Resolutions. Does she set New Year’s Resolutions? Or have goals? No (in fact she snorted with laughter at this point). But she’s always thinking up something new to try, whether it’s writing Haiku, foraging for wild foods, or learning how to make soap. I started to wonder how goal-setting changes as you get older and whether there is a type of person for whom deliberate or conscious goal-setting isn’t required.

In our Positive Psychology Masterclass last week my colleague Miriam Akhtar and I devoted part of the two-day session to the application of positive psychology in coaching. The topic of goals – goal setting and goal achievement – is central to coaching, so the research related to goals and well-being played a major role in our discussion. Whether you are coaching yourself or someone else, it’s helpful to understand the different impacts of different types of goals.

Approach and Avoidance Goals

Approach goals are those with positive outcomes that we work towards.  Positive can mean different things in different contexts, such as liked, desirable, pleasurable, or beneficial.

Avoidance goals are those with negative outcomes that we work to avoid. Negative can mean different things, including disliked, undesirable, painful, or harmful.

Goal Poster

One reason for this could be that constantly looking for evidence of the absence of something negative or monitoring negative possibilities drains your energy and enjoyment.  These findings suggest that creating approach goals, or positively reframing avoidance goals, is beneficial for well-being. For some people, however, it may not be that simple, for example where those with an avoidance temperament or a fear of failure. In this situation, researchers advise therapists to query their clients about why they think they are pursuing avoidance goals in the first place, and then to use the information gleaned to decide which direction to take in therapy. Coaches might also follow the same guidance with their clients.

Intrinsic versus Extrinsic Goals

Goals tend to fall into two categories – intrinsic goals (such as personal growth, physical fitness and contributing to the community that we want for their own sakes) and extrinsic goals (such as money, fame, status and physical attractiveness that we want because of their effect on others).  People often have a mix of both types of goals, and vary in terms of how much importance they place on them. Scientific studies indicate that vigorously pursuing extrinsic goals is linked to lower well-being, whereas intrinsic goals are associated with enhanced well-being. Although this seems like another simple recipe for improving well-being by reframing extrinsic goals as intrinsic ones, it isn’t quite so straightforward, it also depends on motivation.

One Step Further: Intrinsic versus Extrinsic Motivation

It’s not just a question of whether your goals are extrinsic or intrinsic, you also have to consider whether you’re extrinsically or intrinsically motivated, in other words, whether you want to do something or whether you feel you have to (because you’re being persuaded, manipulated, pressured, or threatened).

Made it to the top

So how can we increase our intrinsic motivation for working towards a goal? Self-determination theory suggests that finding ways to increase autonomy (feeling in control), relatedness (feeling connected to others), and competence (feeling able to have an impact on the environment), will all increase intrinsic motivation and lead to greater well-being.

Say we want to increase a child’s intrinsic motivation towards doing homework. Offering money or threatening with loss of playtime may work in the short term, but will not build intrinsic motivation that drives them in the longer term. Instead we could try to increase their sense of autonomy by giving them some choices about how and when they do the homework and increase their sense of competence by providing positive feedback and helping them break down the task into manageable chunks such that they can quickly see progress. Scott Asalone has a good example of this in his article, Moving from “I Must” to “I Want To…”.

It’s also worth knowing that you can be intrinsically motivated to pursue extrinsic goals (and vice versa). If this is the case, having materialistic aspirations doesn’t necessarily decrease well-being if they help the person achieve basic financial security or other intrinsic goals. In fact it has been suggested that in some circumstances pursuing extrinsic goals may even contribute to well-being. So, before reframing extrinsic goals, explore the underlying motivation a little more deeply.

References

Bandura, A., & Schunk, D. H. (1981). Cultivating competence, self-efficacy, and intrinsic interest through proximal self-motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 41, 586-598.

Brdar, I., Rijavec, M. & Miljkovic, D. (2009). Life goals and well-being: Are extrinsic aspirations always detrimental to well-being? Psychological Topics, 18(2), 317-334.

Dweck, C. S. (1999). Self-theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development (Essays in Social Psychology). Philadelphia: Psychology Press.

Elliott, A. & Church, M. (2002). Client-articulated avoidance goals in the therapy context. Journal of Counselling Psychology, 49(2), 243-254.

Elliot, A., Sheldon, K., & Church, M. (1997). Avoidance personal goals and subjective well-being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 915-927.

Higgins, E. T. (1997). Beyond pleasure and pain. American Psychologist, 52, 1280-1300.

Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (2001).  Be careful what you wish for:  Optimal functioning and the relative attainment of intrinsic and extrinsic goals.  In P. Schmuck & K. M. Sheldon (Eds.), Life Goals and Well-Being: Towards a Positive Psychology of Human Striving (pp. 116-131). Gottingen: Hogrefe & Huber Publishers.

Miller, C. A. & Frisch, M. B. (2009), Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide. New York: Sterling.

Images
Goal poster by EvelynGiggles:

Birdwatching courtesy of Rennett Stowe

Made it to the top by magical-world

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

I first read Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by Hollis when it came out in 2006. Then I felt that I was not yet qualified to comment. Now that I am 50 and a bit more, I return to mull over “(T)he ultimate test of the family is not whether it provides safety and predictability, but whether or to what degree each person can leave it, freely, and return, freely, as a larger person.”

Lunar New Year in Kuala Lumpur

Lion Dancers

In August 2011, we observed Ramadhan, the Muslim month of daily fasting and reflection on patience, spirituality, humility, and submissiveness to God. Every evening after sunset prayers, Muslims would make the effort to break the fast with family and friends, cementing bonds and healing rifts. Fasting ended in celebration on the first day of Syawal, with family members, followed by a month of thanksgiving meals with close friends, colleagues, and business associates.

In November, we observed five days of Deepavali (aka Diwali), a celebration of the triumph of good over evil, the ‘festival of lights’, by families performing traditional activities together in their homes, and with much food and gaiety with friends.

Christmas and the New Year were also causes for huge celebrations.

Traffic in Kuala Lumpur

I live along the North-South Expressway. On each of the above occasions, the expressway has been packed with tens of thousands of vehicles moving North and South depending on where Home is. This exodus from the City is not new. A journey of 200 km can take 9 hours, and yet people flock home to their loved ones. Not just the Chinese at Chinese New Year. Not just the Muslims at Eid Al Fitr at the end of Ramadan or the Indians at Deepavali. Not just the Christians at Christmas. Every one with family north or south, east or west of the country joins this exodus. I used to do the 9 hour 200 km in 11 hours too until Mum came to live with me when Dad passed on. Lesson #1: Home is where Mum is, and Mum represents Family. These days I only drive to the neighborhood supermarket during festive holidays

I thought about the reasons for going home in that crazy traffic during these times of celebration. Most return home for filial reasons, some with great joy and expectation, while others go home obligatorily. Robert Frost once said that home is where you go and they have to take you in. I wonder how many go home in hope that family and situations at home will be better this time and have become just as rosy as they dare imagine?

Carl Jung once claimed that the greatest burden the child must bear is the unlived life of the parents, resulting, possibly, in a denial of soul and a risk of passing the same malady to the next generation. I take that to mean that when I try to please my Mum and don’t live my life fully the way I want to, I risk the tendency to foist my unfinished life projects on to my daughter who being taught to be ‘filial’ will suffer the same fate and pass the same to her children. How sad and yet how true. Lesson #2: Live fully for myself and stop recycling pain.

Hollis says that each of us leaves our family twice. The first time, we leave physically at the end of adolescence to explore our destinies, and this is a relatively easy passage. Our second departure from home is psychological and often a separate, more critical and impossible task during the second half of life. No matter how far away we move and how many years pass, we somehow seem to keep the invisible family close at hand through our psychic gestures and patterns. Lesson #3: We can take ourselves out of Family but not take Family out of ourselves.

Three Generations

There are those who do not take full responsibility for their own life journey, choosing to blame their parents (including long departed ones) and others for their foibles. Many are in the sandwich generation category who are raising teenagers and caring for their aged parents at the same time. Both types suffer from unmet developmental needs and tend to experience resentment that they try to hide. Long term repression of resentment becomes manifest in depression, crankiness, and burnout – anger turned inward. The strength of a chain is determined by its weakest link, and so it’s the same with family. A family’s struggles revolve around the least soul-fulfilled parent. Lesson #5: Take charge of personal growth before undertaking responsibility for the growth of others.

To create a safe, stable, and predictable family environment, maturity, courage and personal risk are essential to support unconditional love and acceptance of diversity among those whom we call family. I love the word namaste which translates as “the spirit in me sees the spirit in you” – such an exquisite way of soul nurture. In the second half of life, let us strive to break the chain of bondage to our unfulfilled dreams and those of our parents and ancestors. Let us focus on thriving and flourishing with family.

I know of many who are truly happy to be home with family. These happy souls seem to become recharged each time they reconnect with family and synchronize family with their present and future. It would seem that Family supports their living fully – to come and go freely, and become larger persons.

Namaste!
 

Hollis, J. (2006). Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up. Gotham Books. Includes reference to Carl Jung.

Frost, R. (1915) The death of the hired man. In North of Boston: Poems New York: Henry Holt.

Images
Red lanterns in Kuala Lumpur courtesy of Slices of Light
Lion Dancers courtesy of amasc
Traffic in Kuala Lumpur courtesy of Aldas Kirvaitus
Three Generations courtesy of Aunt Owwee
Namaste courtesy of Louis Vest

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

In the days leading up to Christmas Day, some people like to use an Advent Calendar to count down the days to December 25th. Many commercial calendars reveal a small gift each day, such as a chocolate. What fun to receive little piece of sweetness each day! But what if it’s more fun to give than receive? Based on research that we are happier when giving than when receiving, an on-line Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar was unveiled on 1 December 2011. Readers of the website clicked to discover an act of kindness they could undertake each day.

As one of those readers, I enjoyed the anticipation of what was to come each day, and I tried a few of the suggestions. It certainly added to my daily joy, sometimes doing the act of kindness, or at other times simply reading the daily suggestion and learning along the way a little about some of the research into kindness.

Curious to know more about the creation, last week I contacted the person behind the scenes, Kurt Shuster, a former MAPP student, to talk to him about his motivation for creating the Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar.

Amanda: What motivated you to create this calendar?

Kurt: There are a number of factors leading to the creation of the calendar. My work is about helping to make lives better. What attracted me to Positive Psychology is that this field is about helping people to lead better lives.

I’m also influenced by David Cooperrider, who is behind Appreciative Inquiry, and his comments about how business can be an agent for world benefit. So I wondered what I could do in the festive season to be an agent for positive impact on people’s lives.

But I also had a somewhat selfish motivation. When doing the MAPP course, I completed my VIA Strengths survey and found that my strength of Kindness and Generosity was #24. The last strength. The bottom strength. I resolved to work on this strength as I was struck by the research that kindness has a significant impact on one’s flourishing. I love the idea that helping others is a kindness both to the giver and the receiver. I am on a quest to be kinder.

Amanda: How did the calendar come into being?

Kurt: I noticed that the Advent calendar is usually about getting something. But I thought that there could be a way to use the idea that we can be better off doing the giving.
I’d had the on-line calendar idea for a while, and at the 11th hour, literally, our team pulled an all-nighter on 30 November. It was now or never; we could not wait another year. We had designers, artwork and technical people – all of us were up till 5am and we did it. Then it was simply a matter of uploading a new idea each day.

Amanda: What was the effect on your team, and on others?

Kurt: My team usually makes software. They are programmers and love doing that, but sometimes as with any job, it can have its unexciting moments. They found it fun to be doing something different and that people would enjoy. I didn’t ask them to work all night. They volunteered.

It turned out to be very rewarding for everyone, not just creating the site, but also reading the reader comments each day. The project was inherently satisfying. It was a positive boost for everyone, and even though it was extra work for them, it felt like fun. Each day I found enjoyment by writing suggestions that were interesting, light, and humorous. Yet of course there’s a serious side to this, as my suggestions were based on research.

Amanda: Can you tell me more about the science that influenced you?

Kurt: There were many examples. For example, Dan Gilbert, Sonya Lyubomirsky, the Dalai Lama, and people who wrote about values and random acts of kindness. There are a lot of great websites out there. One of the biggest influences was Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia, whom we actually met. She found that most people thought they’d be happier buying something for themselves. Her research study proved them wrong. People are happier spending on others and even more so if they spend the money in the presence of the other person. You can read a little about our meeting with her here on Day 8 of the Kindness Advent Calendar.

Amanda: What effect did the 25 ideas have on your readers?

Kurt: We found that we informally replicated Dan Gilbert’s research results. All the actions take work, and they take time. It is good to do acts of kindness, but it’s not easy. We know it was not possible for everyone to do them all. We noticed more activity for the easy actions. However, we also know that some of the harder acts are the ones likely to have a more lasting effect. We had some fantastic comments on the website, about how the actions had a positive impact on the readers. If you are curious, go to the site to read the comments.

Amanda: Where to now? What’s next for you?

Kurt: Watch this space, because I have plans for 2012. This kindness thing is not natural for me. I’m a tough nut to crack. It will take me a while. I’m not transformed just because of the Advent calendar. What I liked was that it was fun for me, but I didn’t do all of them. I was kind of like a detached professor, because I know it academically, but it’s a different thing to actually embody it. And I was focusing on getting the ideas out there each day. So this year I’m working on more ideas that I’ll actually implement myself.

Final words from Kurt: Can I add, that I’d like to send a big thank you to everyone for being part of the Kindness Advent Calendar. And I would add a very special thank-you to Robert Biswas-Diener, who was particularly generous with his contributions.

Acknowledgements

1. Thank you to my friend Amanda Levy (whom I first met in 2004 when she was my POD leader from the Authentic Happiness Coaching course) and to Robert Biswas Diener. It was through their emails on 2 December that I learned about the Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar.
2. Thank you, Kurt, for making time for our conversation, and for reviewing the article.

Editor’s Note: The Kindness Advent calendar is still available. Why not use as a monthly set of activities for, say, February and see what comes about?

 References

Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar 2011

Aknin, L. B., & Dunn, E. W. (in press). Spending money on others leads to higher happiness than spending on yourself. In J. Froh & A. Parks (Eds.), Teaching Positive Psychology Handbook.

Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., & Norton, M. I. (2011). Happiness Runs in a Circular Motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between prosocial spending and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies.

Dunn, E.W., Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. (2011). If money doesn’t make you happy then you probably aren’t spending it right. Journal of Consumer Psychology.

Gilbert, D. (2007). Stumbling on Happiness. New York: Vintage.

Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. New York: Penguin Books.

Images

Images used with permission from the Noomii Kindness Advent Calendar.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Have you ever wished you could find a more effective way to share what you know about happiness with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors? Ever wished there were an entertaining way to get across to kids what really matters when it comes to living well? Then you will be interested in this email that I received today from Eiji Han Shimizu:

Eiji

Greetings from Bali!
I hope this message finds you healthy and happy.

Speaking of happiness, we have completed the film, HAPPY, and started showing it around the world.
So far we have won more than 10 awards, including best picture, in international film festivals. Some leading universities of psychology have started using it as an educational material. All this success was made possible with your help

Moving forward, we have set World Happy Day on Feb 11, 2012, when communities around the world get together and watch the film, and then discuss what would make people and the world happier.

So far, more than 300 places in over 50 countries from Moscow to Buenos Aires, Singapore to Antarctica joined the movement, and the momentum is accelerating.

Do you think you can write a story on this?

Editor’s note: Eiji is the main producer, second unit director, and and cinematographer for the movie. Check out his view of the Secret of Happiness.

What is the movie Happy all about? Because time is running out, I was worried about whether I could pull together the story in time for people to take action. But then I received the press release, most of which I’ve included below. On a personal note, I have seen the movie and found it a wonderful mix of story and thoughtful reflection and expert commentary.

LOS ANGELES – On World Happy Day, February 11, 2012, premiere screenings of HAPPY, the latest film from Academy Award® nominated director Roko Belic (Genghis Blues), will be held around the globe. People worldwide will unite in venues ranging from large public theaters to community centers, private homes, churches, schools and more.

“Our goal is for people all around the world to come together, on the same day, start the conversation about happiness and begin to live healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives,” says Belic. “Screenings are already scheduled in Cambodia, The Philippines, Brazil, Nepal, India, and several other countries as well as in cities across America. Even Antarctica!”

Roko Belic

The film HAPPY was inspired by a challenge. Executive producer Tom Shadyac (Bruce Almighty, Liar, Liar, Patch Adams) read a New York Times article ranking the U.S. 23rd in happiness. He asked Belic to find out why. Belic investigated questions like,

• What is happiness and where does it come from?
   
• How do we balance the allure for money, power and social status with our need for strong social relationships, health and personal fulfillment?

Viewers are treated to a global cinematic quest that travels from the bayous of Louisiana to the deserts of Namibia, from the beaches of Brazil to the mountains of Bhutan and beyond. Stories of joy, connection, adversity and courage are interspersed with interviews of several of the world’s leading experts in the science of happiness and well-being.

“The desire for happiness is universal,” says Belic. “The sources are much more common and attainable than many of us believe. It is exciting to share this film and the cutting-edge research with people all over the world. It is even better to know they will be sharing it with each other, too.”

HAPPY was developed under the Creative Visions Foundation, a publicly supported 501 (c)(3), which supports creative activists who use the power of media and the arts to affect positive change in the world. The film will be subtitled in English and seven other languages.

The world’s leading experts in the science of happiness and well-being world include names familiar to us, including Ed Diener, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Dan Gilbert.

Take Action!

Step 1: Find out if there is a public showing available near you. Check the World Happy map to find out.

Step 2: If you are lucky and there is a public showing close by, consider purchasing tickets in advance. The map has links to theater web sites where tickets can be purchased. Take those friends and family along.

Step 3: If there is no public viewing, consider hosting a viewing of your own. Unfortunately it’s too late to sign up for one outside the United States (maybe if you begged?) but within the US, we have until February 1. Check the prices and requirements on the sign up page.

My friend Sandy is talking to a local movie theater about running a viewing. You could host one in a school auditorium or a public library or a house of worship or a retirement community, even your own living room – any place where people can get together, preferably with a large screen. As of today (January 23), people within the United States still have 9 days to take action.

Then What?

Of course the movie will be available for viewing after February 11. But there is something magical about knowing that you are watching it on the same day as people in Antarctica, New Zealand, Buenos Aires, Kuala Lumpur, Kathmandu, and Reykjavik.

We plan additional articles, perhaps interviews with Eiji and Roko. But for more information right now, check out Roko’s blog posting, The Search for Happiness.

Happy – A Documentary Trailer from Wadi Rum Films on Vimeo.

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

“Death: HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE FALLING ANGELS MEET RISING APES.” All interspersed quotations are from Terry Pratchett’s novel, Hogfather

   Procession at Uyeasound

This tale sheds light on many things, but I would like to turn that light towards the nature of rituals: their impact is contingent upon attitude and belief. When a ritual is accepted and experienced as meaningful it produces joy and fulfillment, but when it is viewed as hollow or burdensome it breeds contempt.

George Vaillant briefly discusses ritual in Spiritual Evolution. He suggests that religions have value because they promote rituals that reliably create positive emotions through spirituality and mystical experience. Jonathan Haidt also addresses rituals in his writings. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt asserts that these acts require symbolism and tradition to be meaningful, and they can serve to bond people together within communities. Both Vaillant and Haidt acknowledge an ancient truth: meaningful rituals reliably produce positive emotions.

While this statement is true in both the empirical and historical sense, it is a dangerous one linguistically. Ritual is a loaded and layered word. Eating dinner with family; kissing at a New Year’s party; holding hands to pray; burning the dead on a pyre; sacrificing to a god… all can be ritualistic. The benefit lies less in the act itself than in context and intention.

Death: STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE’S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A BED IS A NORMAL THING.

Jogging in the park

I want to consider the context of rituals for a moment. Imagine you are jogging. You have decided to take all the research with rats seriously: enriched environments build better brains, with the room to run and exercise being of vital importance. So you have donned your cross-trainers and sweatbands, and headed out to your favorite running route in hopes of turning this exercise program into a lasting ritual. Imagine that route more fully… I have a hunch that most people imagine themselves jogging in a place filled with natural beauty. It may be down a trail through a park, along a sandy beach, or through a nicely landscaped neighborhood, but it probably is not the back allies or busy streets that most would choose for their favorite running routes.

This idea is encapsulated in the biophilia hypothesis: humans are hardwired to connect with nature and other living systems. Ecopsychology has arisen recently to study and propagate the implications of this idea. Proponents of this and related fields of study have criticized the positive psychology movement for the lack of a framework to consider the contextual factors of well-being. A variety of research has shown that situations and environments matter a great deal in the development of emotions. Research by Richard Ryan and others has indicated that natural surroundings are effective at producing positive emotions, restoring health, and building character. Richard Louv discusses these findings fully in The Nature Principle, encouraging people in our technologically obsessed society to connect purposefully with nature on a spiritual and physical level in order to lead to more fulfilling lives and create a more desirable world.

Death: IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT… A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THAT THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

Celebrating Seasonal Changes

   Bonfire

Times have changed. We are not even allowed to light those fires without permits, and would probably not even know the date to celebrate anyhow. So the solstices and equinoxes go by largely unnoticed in modern society. Robert Heinberg wrote, in Celebrate the Solstice, “The recovery of the ancient seasonal festivals is more than a symbolic gesture. It can be a meaningful way of reminding ourselves of the natural order of things.” Consider that you are standing on a madly spinning ball orbiting a fiery sphere circling a giant hole; the rhythms of nature and cycles of life are still there, waiting for the believers to fill them with meaning again.

So, make meaning. Take context and nature seriously. Take tradition, symbolism, spirituality and mystical experience seriously. Develop a ritual, connect with nature, raise the sun, and flourish.

“Death: NO… THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN… A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.”

Haidt, J. (2006). The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom. New York: Basic Books.

Heinberg, R. (1993). Celebrate the Solstice: Honoring the Earth’s Seasonal Rhythms through Festival and Ceremony. Quest Books.

Louv, R. (2011). The Nature Principle: Human Restoration and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder. Algonquin Books.

Pratchett, T. (1999). Hogfather. Harper.

Ryan, R. M., Weinstein, N., Bernstein, J., Brown, K. W., Mistretta, L. & Gagne, M. (2010). Vitalizing effects of being outdoors and in nature. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 30, 159-168.

Shaar, M.J. & Britton, K. (2011). Smarts and Stamina: The Busy Person’s Guide to Optimal Health and Performance. Philadelphia, PA: Positive Psychology Press. The chapter called Embrace Mother Nature discusses ways to build mood by experiencing fresh air and nature, building on the observations of Ryan et al.

Vaillant, G. (2008). Spiritual Evolution: A Scientific Defense of Faith. New York: Broadway Press.

Images
Procession at Uyeasound courtesy of Mike Pennington [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Jogging in the park courtesy of Kasia
Bonfire courtesy of Iyad Tibi

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

Editor’s Note: Today, January 17, Jeremy’s blog, The Psychology of Wellbeing, is a listed stop on the online book tour (cool idea) for the book, Situations Matter: Understanding How Context Transforms Your World, by Sam Sommers. Jeremy had already published one article in his blog about the book last October, with the intriguing title, Why Men are Better than Women at Math. But he liked it so much that he signed up to write another article so that he could join the online book tour. We are running that article here simultaneously.

The theme of Situations Matter is the importance of context in determining our beliefs and behaviors.

   One list ...

Another list...

Another study showed that marriages were also fueled by the proximity of the pair. In Ohio, for examples, 1/3 of married couples lived within 5 blocks of each other when they met. It may not be as romantic as going on an around-the-world quest to find your soul mate (see Around the World in 80 Dates by Jennifer Cox, and while you’re at it read How the World Makes Love: . . . And What It Taught a Jilted Groom by the wonderful Franz Wisner), but the good news is your future partner is probably regularly shopping in the same supermarket you do.

In a supermarket line

Reading Sommers’ book, I can’t help but think about how I met my own wife. We met on match.com, and presumably we both had our profiles built and our own list of “Face, Butt, Wit” characteristics that we were looking for in a partner. But my wife Catherine will tell you there were strong situational forces at play.

She was about to give up and went online to cancel her match.com membership. But she decided to do one last search for eligible men around her age within a one mile radius of her house. A picture of me popped up wearing an Alpaca wool sweater that was identical to a sweater that Catherine’s brother had brought her from a trip to South America. Catherine sent me a note, “Nice sweater, how was Bolivia?”

Surfing together

Surfing with a potential partner is a great way to heighten romantic feelings. Sommers cites research showing that people are more attracted to others when they are in a high adrenaline situation, such as on a high narrow bridge. So Catherine and I fell in love riding the waves on our favorite beach in Long Island and sharing our love of travel with surf trips to Puerto Rico, El Salvador, Fiji and South Africa.

So if you are looking for love, my advice is to forget about “face, butt, wit.” Crumple up your list and throw it away. Instead, start paying attention to the situations that are bringing interesting people in and out of your life and the situations that will help the seeds of love to blossom and grow.
 

References and recommended reading:
Sommers, S. (2011). Situations Matter: Understanding How Context Transforms Your World. Riverhead Hardcover.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher.

Images
In a supermarket line courtesy of Beppie K
Surfing together courtesy of Yoshihiro Taguchi

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

First Some Facts…

Five years ago on January 1, 2007, Senia Maymin published the first article on PositivePsychologyNews.com: What is Positive Psychology? That first article has been followed by nearly 950 articles written by more than 80 authors. Senia’s first article has been accessed 19,732 times and still tends to be read by 1 to 20 people per day. In fact, very few of the articles are time sensitive, continuing to be useful long after originally published. After a few more numbers about the site, we’ll give recommendations from some of the PPND authors along with their reasons for suggesting that people take another look.

     5th birthday

Readers have posted 7,670 comments. Some of them praise the article, some correct it or argue with it or slam it, some add information that could itself be an article.

The site has had over 834,000 unique visitors and nearly 1,950,000 pageviews. Nearly 5800 people subscribe to get email versions of the articles.

Our most accessed article is Aren Cohen’s humorous discussion of writing thank-you letters for wedding presents, Thank You Notes and Positive Psychology. Originally published on December 8, 2008, it continued getting an occasional hit until suddenly it took off, going from 3000 total hits on August 1 2010 to 104,000 hits today.

Two collections of articles have been published as books with lovely illustrations by Kevin Gillespie: Resilience: How to Navigate Life’s Curves and Gratitude: How to Appreciate Life’s Gifts. We have plans for a third on positive relationships. Perhaps we’ll get it done in 2012.

Article Suggestions

Angus Skinner recommends Unhappiness is Part of Life (July 2008) because it emphasizes that positive psychology, from its earliest days, was never lop-sided. And it links back through centuries to Burton who in the 17th century wrote probably the messiest and most humorous book in the English language, The Anatomy of Melancholy. Happiness and unhappiness were not invented in 2000 anymore than sex was invented in 1963, which as Larkin wrote, was a little late for me.

Marie-Josée Shaar recommends Does Sleep Really Matter? (June 2009) because the importance of good sleep is severely under-estimated. As a result, sleep deprivation is at the root of a lot of the lifestyle challenges we face today. This article starts to unfold some of the many impacts of sleep deprivation, with the hope that people will take good sleep habits more seriously.

Amanda Horne recommends Little Drops of Quiet (April 2010) because she likes Jenny Fox Eades’ quotation which formed the title of the article: “We can all find moments throughout the day to create little drops of quiet. It changes the quality of the day and it changes the quality of our relationships.”

Christine Duvivier recommends Myths of Education: Bottom Students Are Not Hardworking, Motivated, or Bright (January 2009) because it celebrates the unlikely, unsung, underdog hero.

Senia Maymin recommends her article with Margaret Greenberg, Changing the Questions at Work (January 2009) because it shows that the answers are not always there. Sometimes the questions are the important part.

Jeremy McCarthy: The Defenders of Negativity (October 2011) because it elicited a great discussion in the comments which continued in other articles as well.

Louisa Jewell: Folding Fitted Sheets and Female Happiness (October 2010) because it seems that women stress about too many things, and we deserve the time to take care of ourselves.

Emily VanSonnenberg: Resolving New Year’s Resolutions (Jan 2011) because it shows that our experience in life is our choice. We can set intentions and work toward goals that align with the experiences we want to create while alive.

Ryan Niemiec: Ten Principles of Character Strengths (May 2010) because there is significance in continuing to widen our views of our character strengths as it’s all-too-easy to take them for granted and be “blind” to who we are and what we are expressing.

Steve Safigan: Self-Kindness: A Healthier Alternative to Self-Esteem? (October 2010) because self-compassion has nearly all of the benefits of self-esteem without the downsides. Being kind to ourselves is most beneficial when we need it the most, when we’ve failed in some way and self-esteem has taken a hit.

Sulynn: Piety, a Character Strength (July 2009) because piety is an ancient virtue that underlies civility, is found in both Chinese and Greek traditions, and plays an unseen part in virtually every human relationship. Piety transcends logical reason. It is an interpersonal strength that seeks to promote another’s welfare without concern for what is fair. It is absolutely essential to a well-functioning society. We could do with more piety in the world.

Tailoring to Fit

Aren Cohen: Be The Little Engine That Could because in many ways it has become the mission statement of my practice. Teaching parents and students how and why mindsets and goal setting are important is essential for our collective success, and I find that this article is a great introduction to those concepts using a familiar children’s story to which we can all relate.

Kathryn Britton: Powerful Questions to Ask at a Job Interview because Alan Foster’s 6 questions are still so relevant to people seeking employment that will allow them to live and thrive.

Want More?

PPND authors have reviewed more than 70 books and referenced more than 400. Some books are by luminaries in the positive psychology field, including Todd Kashdan, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Barbara Fredrickson, Martin Seligman, and Tal Ben-Shahar. Some are about applications in particular contexts, such as Tony Hsieh’s book, Delivering Happiness and Atul Gawande’s Better.

PPND authors have also published books.

David Pollay wrote The Law of the Garbage Truck: How to Respond to People Who Dump on You, and How to Stop Dumping on Others. For a quick preview check out his October 2007 article, The Law of the Garbage Truck™ or Margaret Greenberg’s article, Get in the No Garbage Trucks! Zone – An Interview with Author David J. Pollay.

Caroline Miller wrote Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide, the first book to emerge from the MAPP program at Penn. Emiliya Zhivotovskaya wrote the review.

When Sherri Fisher, John Yeager, and David Shearon wrote SMART Strengths – Building Character, Resilience and Relationships in Youth, they incorporated some of the ideas they had worked out on PPND. Christine Duvivier wrote the review.

Ryan Niemiec, who has written articles about positive psychology Oscar awards for movies, has written Positive Psychology At The Movies: Using Films to Build Virtues and Character Strengths. Derrick Carpenter wrote the review.

Marie-Josée Shaar and Kathryn Britton recently published Smarts and Stamina: The Busy Person’s Guide to Optimal Health and Performance. Louisa Jewell wrote the review.

Other ways to dip in include the calendar indexes and the the image maps – start at the top and enjoy exploring.

We hope you’ve enjoyed the first 5 years and come back for more. We’d love to hear in the comments what you most enjoy about the site and what else you’d like to see in the years to come.

Images
5th birthday cake courtesy of ntr23
Thank You Note supplies and Sleeper courtesy of Kevin Gillespie
I think God… courtesy of Amanda Horne
Human choreography courtesy of James
Perfectly folded sheets courtesy of Quinn Dombrowski

Tailoring to fit courtesy of Jay Tamboli

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

It’s difficult to change. This is demonstrated by the number of New Year’s resolutions people make and how few of them actually lead to lasting change, which may seem like evidence that attempts to change are doomed from the start.

Yet most of us see our resolutions as worthy and important. We truly want change, and we are sincere in our commitment to achieving it. People may attribute failure to lack of motivation: “If I just felt like it was important enough, I would do it.” Others may attribute it to a lack of commitment: “I didn’t really go into this prepared enough. I made a half-hearted decision.” Still others may attribute it to a lack of will-power: “I’m so undisciplined and lazy, it’s no wonder I failed.”

   Dr. Robert Kegan

Technical Challenges and Adaptive Challenges

Underlying Kegan and Lahey’s work is a distinction made by leadership author and speaker, Ronald Heifetz, between technical challenges and adaptive challenges. Technical challenges, such as learning to fly an aircraft or build fine furniture, can be overcome by relatively straightforward and well-defined means and do not require deep changes in the way we think. Adaptive challenges, such as developing confidence or learning to stop procrastination, require major changes in the way we think.

Change: Bud to Blossom

What could be the adaptive challenge in this example? Unfortunately, there are many reasons why people eat, and only one of these reasons is because we’re hungry. We may eat because we are bored, lonely, anxious, fearful, or worried. All of these are adaptive problems which require adaptive solutions. Adaptive solutions require a change to the underlying systems we have in place to keep us feeling safe.

Immunity to Change

We all have well-tuned systems of coping mechanisms that make us feel safe and help us avoid fear, anxiety, and emotional discomfort. Kegan and Lahey call these emotional immune systems, likening them to our biological immune systems. Our emotional immune systems are vigilant and intelligent in order to identify an outside attack and mobilize to fend it off.

  Flu shots -
  enhancing biological immunity

According to Kegan and Lahey, when someone attempts to change a well-functioning coping system, the emotional immune system springs into action to keep the person safe and prevent feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, fear, and other emotional discomfort. We may have trouble identifying our own emotions. Instead of perceiving that we are uncomfortable in the face of change, we may feel that we are undisciplined or unmotivated or that we avoid or procrastinate. Without understanding the feelings we’re avoiding, we are unlikely to address the real reason that change does not occur. So how can we reach for adaptive solutions?

Step One: What Are We Doing or Not Doing Instead of Sticking to Our Commitments?

Kegan and Lahey recommend uncovering true feelings, the hidden agenda, by looking at what we’re doing to sabotage our own change. We can ask ourselves the questions recommended by psychologist William Perry for people attempting change: “What do they really want, and what will they do to keep from getting it?”

Being with friends

Step Two: Identify Hidden Competing Commitments

So why do we sabotage the very changes we sincerely want to make? Kegan and Lahey identify what they call hidden competing commitments. Something about the change threatens the status quo that feels safe and comfortable. The visible commitment (in this example, to have closer relations with others) may be in direct opposition to a hidden commitment that is designed to protect us. It’s like having one foot on the gas and another foot on the brake. In our example, the hidden competing commitments might be (1) I am committed to having other people’s approval; (2) I am committed to appearing confident and self-assured; (3) I am committed to not getting hurt in relationships; and (4) I am committed to a sense of invulnerability to others.

Immunity Map Worksheet

Once we uncover our hidden competing commitments, we can step back and observe the big assumptions that underlie them. Possible big assumptions in our example include: (1) Other people will reject me if I do not actively seek their approval; (2) If I don’t project a confident image of myself then I will be seen as weak; (3) I am not strong enough to risk being hurt again in close relationships; and (4) If I show vulnerability then people will take advantage of me.

Kegan and Lahey use the term immunity map for the combined picture that includes our visible commitment, what we’re doing or not doing instead, our hidden competing commitments, and our big assumptions. The map is like an X-ray, showing us the real reasons why we resist the change we want.

Step Four: Implement an Adaptive Change

   Protective gear

Adaptive changes take the immune system into account, addressing the alternative commitments and assumptions. It is not change itself that causes anxiety and discomfort; it is the feeling that we are defenseless in the face of apparent danger. When we are aware of alternative commitments and assumptions, we can draw on our creativity, courage, and resilience to redefine how we look at the real issue, honoring our need for self-protection.

What Next?

A short article summarizing Kegan and Lahey’s approach is necessarily limited. For a step-by-step guide to how to create your own immunity map, refer to Kegan and Lahey’s book-length treatment of this subject in Immunity to Change. For a different look at the book, check out Dave Shearon’s article.

Cheers to your change efforts in the coming year.

Kegan, R. & Lahey, L. L. (2001) The Real Reason People Won’t Change. Harvard Business Review. Contained in HBR’s Must Reads on Change.

Kegan, R. & Lahey, L. L. (2009). Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization (Leadership for the Common Good). Cambridge, MA: Harvard Business School Press.

Shearon, D. (2010). Change is hard, Except when it’s not. Positive Psychology News Daily.

Images
Buds to Blooms courtesy of Vicki DeLoach
Flu Shot courtesy of Lance McCord
Cocktail party conversation courtesy of Vox photo

Immunity Map Worksheet – Pointer to the Minds at Work worksheet – where you can see it much more clearly
Protective gear courtesy of Katrina Cole

This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.